The
Gate It’s
amazing how common extramarital affairs are during a
time of separation.
Separation
is an extremely uncomfortable time of
transition. Individuals feel like they
are in the marriage twilight zone. Some
folks think that they’re suddenly
single, because they really don’t
feel they’re married anymore. Separation
can feel like a mere formality, or a delay
of the inevitable.
There’s
a feeling of suffocation or bondage that comes with
separation that causes people to panic. It may seem
like they’re the only one who’s life is
standing still or being wasted.
The
fact of the matter is that until a husband or wife receives
a divorce decree they are still married. The Bible encourages
believers to not be anxious but to pray and give thanks
to God and allow him to give you peace of mind.
It’s
excruciating especially for those who are convinced
that their marriage is over and have no intention on
working towards reconciliation. The process may seem
to drag on and you want desperately to exhale. That‘s
quite understandable.
The
area of concern is when a separated person decides to
date. If one is not divorced then there should be no
romantic involvement with anyone other than their spouse.
It’s
amazing how common extramarital affairs are during a
time of separation. Husbands and wives end up wounded
and feeling vulnerable. Contrary to popular belief it’s
not usually about having a physical attraction. It’s
about having emotional needs met.
No
matter how they try to defend or justify it, a covenant
was made and now it’ s being broken and affections
are being given to someone else. I believe this hurts
God because He takes covenants seriously.
Pledging
to give yourself to only one person for the rest of
your life in this generation, may not seem possible.
But it is.
Face
the reality of your situation. If you’re seperated,
there should be no dating. It’s perfectly alright
to maintain platonic friendships with individuals of
the opposite sex, but that’s where it should end.
Selfishness,
ignorance and haste will cause you to try to justify
dating, but don’t fall prey to it. Choose to please
God above what you want and God will honor you for that.
Use
separation as a time to really evaluate yourself and
to plan for the future. Don’t look for a quick
fix. Once again check your motives for wanting to date.
Could jealousy or revenge play a role? How about desperation
or loneliness? Only you can answer that question.
Separation
is like being at the gate of a new life you have envisioned,
but there’s a lock on it and, you’re waiting
for someone to bring you the key. What you don’t
realize is, God is standing at the gate with you. He’s
waiting to see whether you will stay there with him
until He says it’s time to go; or will you ignore
him and place your life in your own hands. The choice
is yours.
